Posted By admin on March 12, 2010

although I feel as though I want to say something.

I want to write…want to pour out my heart, and yet although there are feelings, there are no words right now.

I could just start typing and see what comes out.

Perhaps about my bootcamp experience and how I have gone from someone who hates the mere mention of “working out” to someone who waits excitedly for bootcamp night to arrive.  About how I feel powerful and strong.  About how I like the changes that I see, even though the scale isn’t changing yet.  About how I want to work out even when it is not bootcamp time and how very strange that is.

Perhaps I should type something about routine and how sometimes a change is so necessary.  About how with the 2 little ones out of the house one day this week we were able to focus on school and makes some changes that very well may have revolutionized the way we do school at our house.  About how independent my 10 year old has become and how little she needs me on school days and how in a way that is so amazingly awesome, but in another way it makes me a little sad.

Perhaps I should pour out my heart about our family and the amazing blessings that God has given us.  About each of the littles who are growing and developing into such amazing little people, despite the mistakes that we make and the hurdles they have. How they have grown to be best friends, even though some days I wonder if they will ever learn to show love to each other. How precious it is to me to be able to watch them learn and grow, and how despite the days that feel more like home-suffering, I wouldn’t trade my opportunity to home-school for anything.

Perhaps I should mention that Emmy walked down the stairs at 10 o’clock the night before last and told me that she no longer needed to sleep with her blanky or lovie because she is 5 now, and way to big to have a blanky anymore, and did I just want to put it in the consignment sale so that we could make some money with it?  And maybe I could tell how that made my heart sad to see her growing up and being so mature and independent, but that I was also proud of her for her objective thinking.

And then I would have to say that I was thrilled to see the blanky back in bed with her last night.

Then there is the littlest of the littles who is talking up a storm, has an attitude personality that is larger than life, and brings me complete joy.  Who loves shoes, guns, picking out his own clothes, moon sand, throwing food, leading prayer time and being involved better than anything.  Who thinks he is by far in charge around here, and please don’t make any mistake about that.

And who also still sleeps with his blanky and sucky every night, thankyouverymuch.

Then there is the oldest who has been on a mission to go on a mission…but I believe that I will save that for another post.

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