Posted By admin on February 25, 2010

Big families.

Quite honestly, although we require a table for 6 when we go out to dinner, and even though the little people in our house out number the big people 2 to 1, I don’t really think of our family as “big”.

But to many, we are a big family.

We have heard the comments (Don’t you know what causes that?  Are you going to have more?  Bet you won’t do that again! Boy do you have your hands full!).

We have watched the tornado tear through a newly cleaned house.

Chaos? Oh yeah.  We thrive on it!

Are there negatives to a big family?  Sure there are!  I cannot be all things to my children…not even just being all the things that I want to be.
My attention is diverted numerous times a day.
My house is a lot messier than I would want it to be.
My alone time with Brenden doesn’t come nearly as often as I would like.
My to do list is unending.
I drop into be exhausted every night.
Sometimes I long for time alone without any little voices wanting to tell me something.

But truth be told…there are a lot more positives than there are negatives.  And really…I love the activity, the noise, the busyness that comes with lots of littles at our house.  And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I found this today when I was reading MckMama’s blog. It was written by Matthew Archbold for the National Catholic Register, and it bears reposting.  I loved it, and I hope you do to!

Why big families are easier:

Patience. I never have to teach patience. My children know that I can’t drop everything for them if I have a baby in my arms.

Work Ethic. My children have learned to work because there are always chores to do in a small house packed with little messy lunatics. And they all learn quickly that sometimes they have to clean up a mess even though they didn’t make it.

Humility. My children have learned it’s not always their turn. They’ve accepted they can’t always get their way because other people have to get their way sometimes. They’ve learned that some children are better at certain things than they are.

Foreign language skills. You can learn a lot of Spanish by watching ten years of Dora the Explorer that you just can’t pick up in two. And now with the Diego spin off I’m practically fluent.

Laughter. The children have learned to laugh at the insane non sequiturs of younger siblings. They’ve learned that laughing just feels better when seven people are doing it along with you.

Competition. Do I really need to go into this? Everything is a competition in big families. The children compete over who reads faster, who drinks their milk faster, who gets to the bathroom first…etc. Everything is a competition and they’re all keeping score.

Balance. The floor of the front room of my home is a minefield of toys and childhood paraphernalia. Just walking through the room requires great skill and balance. I’m absolutely convinced my two year old will be a favorite for Gold on the balance beam in the 2016 Olympics. (She might have to lay off the cookies a little but I’ll deal with that later.)

Life isn’t fair. Sometimes you just give it to the baby because you want a little quiet. Not all the time. But sometimes.

Just say “No.” Being able to say “no” may be the most undervalued skill in this world. The need to be liked is pervasive. The need to be cool even more so. Having brothers and sisters teaches children to say “no” about 143 times a day. It’s a good skill.

Praying. They learn that nothing beats praying together as a family.

Nature/Nurture. Having many children has taught me that nature has a lot more to do with who my kids are than nurture. This is helpful, especially when your children misbehave you don’t have to feel bad about it. Just say “Stupid nature!!!” and blame your spouse’s genes.

Namecalling. You can occasionally call your child by the wrong name and still not be considered a terrible parent. They know who you mean just from your tone. Sometimes if you need something done you can call the wrong name and someone will still show up. That helps.

Spying. My children have learned that they can’t get away with anything. I have spies who look a lot like them who are willing to drop the dime on them for anything. Even at school I’ve got a child in just about every grade. If they do something I’ll hear. That keeps them nervous. And I like keeping my kids a little nervous.

Friendship. The children have many friends. They’ve got girly friends, crying friends, fun loving friends, consoling friends, and crazy friends. And they all have the same last name. And they’ll be there forever for each other. No matter what.

Love. I think my children have learned to love because there are others around them to love and who love them. I honestly can think of no better way to teach children to love than siblings.

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